The Dean’s List Read online

  He rose from the bed, and the sheet dropped from around his waist. He grabbed me and tossed me across the mattress. Fishing through his jeans, he pulled his phone from his pocket. I was laughing at the situation, and he was snapping a picture of my body.

  “How many did you take?”

  He shrugged and began to scroll through his phone. I could see the passion in his eyes. My mouth dropped open when I realized he was getting hard again. How in the hell did he do that?

  He looked down at his length and chuckled. “Don’t be worried. I’m not sure I could do it again so soon.” He tugged his jeans on and ended all notions that he would have me again. “Time to clean out the closet.”

  The next hour we spent analyzing my wardrobe. Anything that remotely resembled parent-friendly was tossed in the corner. When it was all said and done, my closet had a gaping hole in it, but my heart felt like it was healing. I wasn’t aware how liberating purging my closet could be.

  “Jonathan, thank you for everything. You were heaven-sent today. You liberated my closet and my life.”

  “I’m glad I could be there. I’m glad I could be here. This is one of the best days I’ve had in a long time. I’ll have Erica send over some things to fill the gap.”

  “Please don’t. I have plenty to wear.”

  My closet was three-quarters full. I had more clothes than I ever had in my life. I ran my hand over the silver dress I’d worn to the opera. It was too pretty to hide in the bag. I wanted to enjoy it for a little while longer.

  “That day will be etched as another favorite. As for the clothes, I’d like to get you things. I’d…like to see you wear the things I chose for you.” By now, the man knew saying those words would get him anything he wanted. “I should be going. I’ll pick you up Wednesday at seven. We’ll be having dinner with Grace and her husband. They wanted to go over the funds raised by the auction.”

  I faltered in my step as I walked behind him to the front door.

  He wanted me near his family?

  “What if she finds out who I am or what I do?”

  “I would imagine she already knows.” He brushed a soft kiss on my lips and left me. Brokenhearted.

  Chapter 18

  By the time I got up, Tiffany was in the kitchen. “Hey, how was the date? For an older dude, he’s hot.” She poured me a cup of coffee and set it on the table. “It was great. We…ate Greek and talked.”

  “Oh…is that what you’re calling it these days? Well, I could use some Greek. Where do I get one of those? He’s the one sending the clothes and stuff, right?”

  “Yes, he’s very generous.”

  She whistled loudly. “You got yourself a sugar daddy. Good for you.”

  And with that, she disappeared into her room. I probably wouldn’t see her for the rest of the week. We rarely crossed paths, and when we did, it was mostly on weekends.

  I hadn’t checked my phone since yesterday. The only time I glanced at it was to shoot the picture of Jonathan. Looking at it now showed there were several missed messages from my parents. Of course, there was no way they would leave me alone. I pressed delete without listening to any of them. To let them back into my life would be a mistake. For the first time, I felt impervious to their ugliness. I actually stood up for myself, and it felt liberating. Scrolling through the rest, I found a message from Jade and one from Luca.

  Hey,

  How was lunch with the God squad?

  J

  Yesterday was a turning point for me in many ways. I finally let go of the hope I would ever please them. That was big.

  How are things with you? We totally need to talk. So much has happened. Coffee tomorrow before class?

  R

  She replied instantly.

  It sounds intriguing. Are you sure you want to wait? As for me, things are good here. My bracelets are fading, my heart feels lighter.

  J

  Thank God for that. Seeing my friend broken and bruised was one of the lowlights of the week. I wasn’t sure I would ever stop worrying about her.

  I wish I could meet today, but I’m booked. I have a meet-and-greet for lunch and a dinner appointment. It will have to be tomorrow. Same time, same place.

  R

  Luca’s text was brief.

  Just confirming our coffee date after classes on Thursday.

  Luca

  I replied back with a “yes” and got ready for my lunch meeting. I couldn’t remember the guy’s name. My calendar said, ‘John Strickland’. I was supposed to meet him at an oyster bar in Times Square. I wish I could cancel. Now that I had a Wednesday and Saturday regular, I was kind of set. Jonathan might not want me as an exclusive, but who was to say I couldn’t limit my appointments to him? Of course, I intended to finish with Paul Yoder. It would be cruel not to.

  Speaking of Paul Yoder, my work phone pinged with an incoming message asking to set up the next meeting. Unfortunately, I was booked this Friday. I asked him if he wanted to meet tomorrow night. It was really short notice, but it was all I had to offer. I was hoping he would find his self-confidence quickly. I didn’t mind seeing him, but he needed more, deserved more than a woman he paid by the hour.

  He responded with a “yes” and an address. I looked at the rest of the week and made an executive decision. I would see Ben Daniels and Donald Zane because we already had those encounters scheduled, but I was canceling Wednesday’s meet-and-greet. Even if I liked him, I didn’t know where I would put him in my schedule. This wasn’t a career path for me; it was a means to an end.

  John Strickland was already seated at the table when I arrived. He greeted me and shook my hand. Pleasant-looking, he was probably in his late sixties. Like Jonathan, he owned a company that managed the portfolios of wealthy clients. Estate planning seemed to be where the money was.

  Dressed in a paisley printed dress and heels, I took my seat across from John. “Good afternoon. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  “Nice to meet you, too. I don’t have much time. My secretary double-booked me. I’m going to be honest. I’m a connoisseur. I’m not looking for a long-term thing. I’m more of a nail-and-bail kind of guy. So, I don’t need to get to know you.”

  I liked his honesty, but his attitude was appalling. Nail and bail? Please. These types of men were not mentors; they served a different purpose. They were a single payday. Perfect for the woman without a heart or soul.

  “I understand. I’m not opposed to single experiences. However, my schedule is limited at this point. I have regular meetings several days of the week.”

  His eyes widened.

  “But you just started. How did you manage to secure regulars so soon?” He looked at me with surprise in his expression.

  “I suppose we just clicked.” I didn’t feel anything for this guy. He would be perfect if I was desperate for three hundred fifty dollars, but some things weren’t worth it. “I don’t think I’m the girl for you, Mr. Strickland. I’m looking for consistency in my life, and I don’t see you providing that. It was a pleasure meeting you, but I wouldn’t want to waste any more of your time.” I got ready to stand up and leave.

  “You could at least have lunch with me. You are getting paid for it.” I couldn’t argue with that.

  “Certainly.” He had a valid point. “Tell me about yourself.” That was truly the best question ever asked. People loved to talk about themselves, and he was no different.

  He went on and on about his business and his clients. A namedropper if I’d ever seen one. I listened attentively. If I had to make it through lunch, then I was going to use it as a growth opportunity.

  We ordered oysters on the half shell and cups of New England clam chowder. When our time was up, I shook his hand and bid him farewell. He left first. I stayed behind to check my messages and texted Jade. Maybe we could meet for coffee.

  J

  Time for coffee?

  R

  While waiting for her reply, I opened my work phone and promptly put a no next to John St
rickland. He could nail and bail elsewhere. What a slimeball. Craig Hagen sent a message requesting a second encounter. I figured since I put a yes next to his name, I owed him. I couldn’t justify not seeing him again. Sandra would be all over my ass. With three nights taken, I had room for one more regular if I decided to go that route. The jury was still out.

  Jonathan had warmed my heart with quite a few sweet actions and words, yet he’d managed to erase those feelings with something cold and uncaring.

  Were his parting words intended to put me in my place?

  Could he be that cold? We’d shared an amazing afternoon. The man had selflessly given me his time, and I’d given him mine. We called it a date, and yet when he left, he reminded me what I was.

  Why did it hurt so much with him?

  R

  Can you come to my apartment?

  J

  There was no stall in my reply. I typed in a “yes” and hailed a cab. I would be there in twenty minutes if I were lucky. On the way, I answered the remaining messages.

  My heart stilled when a naked picture of me flashed across the screen. Sandra’s warning to never let anyone take pictures of me replayed in my head. I relaxed when I read the message that accompanied the photo.

  Sunshine,

  Missing you. Thanks for such a great weekend. See you Wednesday.

  Jonathan

  The photo, although sexy, wasn’t pornographic in any way. The sheet was tossed in such a way that it covered my most intimate parts but offered a peek at what I was hiding. I looked sexy and carefree. I appeared lighthearted, which made me look happier than I had in a very long time.

  I analyzed every nuance of that photo, from the way my hair hung over my shoulder to the silver chain that hung from my wrist. The camera flash caught the charm creating a starburst effect. It looked like I was tossing a magical orb. I glanced down at my wrist and admired the bracelet I’d yet to take off.

  Jonathan,

  I miss you too. Heading to a girlfriend’s for coffee. Wednesday can’t come soon enough.

  River

  And it couldn’t. Time from this point forward would be measured by Wednesdays, Saturdays, and Brazilian waxes.

  My correspondence was completed by the time I arrived at Jade’s. It was hard to get over where she lived. The last time I was there, I was being prepped for my interview. It seemed like so much time had passed, but in reality, it had been just over a week.

  She buzzed me in right away. My eyes scanned her apartment. I was looking at it through a different lens. When I was here before, I didn’t know my friend was involved in a power exchange. I wondered if I would see everything differently now. What I saw was a beautiful apartment that looked like Jade. There was hardly a trace of the men who whipped through her life four days a week.

  “What’s up?” She embraced me fiercely.

  “I have to tell you about lunch with the parents.”

  And so I did. She made us coffee, and we sat at the granite bar in the kitchen while I told her about the visit and how Jonathan had come to my rescue. Of course, I called him Mr. Broom. By the time I finished, she was mute. I’ve never seen her at a loss for words.

  “You are in trouble with this guy, aren’t you?” Her expression didn’t look upset. She looked sad.

  “Yes, I’m in trouble. He’s everything I would want in a man, and I know I can’t have him.”

  Sadly, the reality was so much easier to swallow when he wasn’t around. When he was around, he enchanted me. For that tiny moment yesterday, it had felt like he’d needed me, too. But that would only be wishful thinking.

  Stop now, River.

  I needed to change the subject. “How is the duo?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know. We normally spend Thursday through Sunday together, but they exited early over the weekend, and I haven’t heard from them. I’m not sure what to think.” The light had dimmed in her eyes again. She sounded whiny, like she did when it was her time of the month.

  “Are you on your period? Speaking of which, what do I do when I’m on mine?”

  “What a shitty tutor. I can’t believe how much I didn’t tell you. You could buy a sponge, or you could get a diaphragm. I prefer the diaphragm. I was always honest with the men. Some men love it. The hormones often make the boobies bigger.” If Jade’s boobs got any bigger, she could be a human bouncy castle.

  Argh. The thought of having to have sex on my period was unappealing. “Looks like I’ll need another appointment with Dr. Chang.”

  “Do you want to tell me about the bracelet?”

  “No.” Absolutely not. “Do you want to show me your playroom?” I wasn’t ready for her to ruin the beauty of the gift. Knowing Jade, she would tell me to take it off and put it away. Wearing it would only reinforce my feelings. Feelings I wasn’t allowed to have.

  Telling Jade about the death of the relationship with my parents had been cathartic and affirming. With each purge, I felt a little less exiled, but more…free. She’d been with me through the dismal, heartbreaking years of their relentless bullying. Although she raised her concern about Jonathan—and as my best friend, she should—I knew she also applauded my decision to be done with them.

  We didn’t discuss Paul Yoder. It would have been cruel to talk about his teeny weenie when he wasn’t around. It was cruel to discuss it when he was around.

  Question-and-answer time had officially ended. I told her I was meeting an older man for dinner and had to go home to get ready.

  Jade’s friendship was a treasure I was so thankful for. Her hugs and kisses as I left fortified my heart and soul.

  * * *

  The entryway was filled with packages when I arrived home. My roommate must have signed for the twenty or so boxes stacked neatly against the wall. The logo of Bloomingdales decorated each and every box. Jonathan had gone wild.

  It took me several minutes to lug everything into my room. It was two hours before I had to leave for my dinner with Ben. Surely, that was enough time to check out the goods. I wasn’t used to receiving gifts. In fact, this was more than I’d received over the span of my life. I wanted to savor each and every package.

  One by one, I opened the gifts and pulled out the contents. When it was all said and done, I had six dresses, three cashmere sweaters, two pairs of slacks, five shirts of various bold colors, and four silk negligees. Everything was top of the line, not one garment was a fifty-fifty polyester blend.

  Grateful to have someone so generous in my life, I picked up my phone and without thinking tapped in a message to Jonathan. Texting was the type of behavior that made everything seem so normal.

  Jonathan,

  You overwhelm me with your generosity. I love everything you sent my way. How did I get so lucky?

  River

  My eyes never left the screen. The wait was almost unbearable. How was I going to get through the night when this man was always in my thoughts?

  Ping.

  Sunshine,

  You are long overdue. Isn’t it time someone saw you? I wasn’t able to choose those items myself, but I was told there were some sexy nighties in the mix. Bring one Wednesday. I can’t wait to remove it from your body.

  Jonathan

  It didn’t take much for my panties to dampen and my skin to tingle. One thought of Jonathan stripping me bare, and I was wet. Well, at least Ben would be happy. He didn’t have to know my arousal came from a man not in the room.

  I wanted to wear something from the items he’d sent me, but it seemed wrong—disrespectful to Jonathan. The clothes would be worn for him or when I was on my own. The only item I refused to remove was the bracelet. It was a constant reminder there were generous people in the world.

  The flouncy edge of the orange A-line dress softened the bright color. I loved the movement it had when I walked. Racing around the room, I grabbed everything I would need for the evening. The taxi was waiting downstairs.

  The ride to The Manor was quick and painless. Maybe because it was
a Monday evening. Ten minutes early, I waited in the lobby. He lit up the room as he entered. Some people had that aura about them. Ben was one of those rare gifts.

  “River, how was the trip over?” His false teeth sparkled under the light of the chandelier. I wondered if they were implants or the type that came out and were tossed in a cup of water at night.

  “The ride was wonderful. Hardly any traffic, and there wasn’t a crazy person in our path. I would say that’s pretty darn amazing.” His grandfatherly look put me at ease.

  “We need to set up a car service for you. It would be more convenient and definitely safer. I would feel better.” Apparently, Ben had plans for future meetings. There wasn’t a reason to talk about car services if he didn’t.

  He placed my arm on his and walked us to the hostess. We were seated in a secluded booth. It reminded me of the night Jonathan and I went to Per Se. Everything reminded me of him. This was Ben’s night, and it wouldn’t be fair to be with him while thinking of a different man.

  The Manor had a menu heavy in seafood. I loved that Ben had heard me on our meet-and-greet. I loved living by the ocean because of the abundance of fresh fish that came our way. We quickly placed our orders and enjoyed a glass of wine while we waited.

  Ben was seventy-seven. He had been married twice before, but his last wife passed away fifteen years ago. He had one daughter and two sons. He used to have a house in Oyster Bay, but he sold it several years ago. He now lived in Manhattan with his dog, Nasdack.

  “River, before you get nervous about having to put out for an old geezer like me, I wanted to clear the air.”

  Oh Lord, don’t tell me he’s another little man. I sipped my wine and nodded my head. This was the weirdest job I’ve ever had. A psychology major would be better suited for the position.

  He gave me a wink. I was waiting for him to divulge his dirty, dark secrets, and he sat there and winked at me.

  “Ben, you’re killing me. Clear the air already.”

  “I would be happy to make love to a beautiful young woman like yourself. My mind is willing, but my body is weak. I lost that ability two years ago when I got prostate cancer. I was hoping you wouldn’t mind entertaining an old buzzard like me. I like having dinner with a pretty girl.”