Imagine That: A Small Town Big Love Novel Read online

  “She has ten months,” He answered for her.

  Togi tilted her head. “Then what is she doing with you?” she half scolded Kevin. “You know the year rule.”

  “What?” He asked, red-faced. “She’s not with me. We’re friends, Togi. She’s been going to meetings here since she got sober. How come this is the first time you’ve introduced yourself to her?”

  He was hot. It took a lot to light his fire. He wouldn’t put up with unkindness or innuendo. Fortunately, her remark about the two of them being an item went right by Maya, he thought. While it was his heart’s desire to be with her, she needed nothing else to complicate her recovery.

  “Yeah. We’re just good friends,” insisted Maya.

  Togi looked at her the way a mother looks at a child. “I'll let you have lunch and then we have work to do.”

  Maya took a series of deep breaths and nodded.

  “No matter what, I wouldn’t do what you thought I did,” assured Togi. “I know we sparred at first, but this is something I take seriously.”

  Maya lowered her head as if she were embarrassed. It killed him that she was feeling unhappy with herself. He had thought the same thing about Togi. He was pleased that he’d been wrong.

  A new waitress approached. Maya kept her head down, pretending to read the menu.

  Kevin ordered. “I’ll have an unsweetened iced tea, Maya will have an Arnold Palmer and whatever Togi wants?”

  “I’m gone,” she said. “I wanted to give you your starter kit because something tells me you don’t have one.”

  Maya lifted her head from the menu and smiled. “Thanks. You’re right. I don’t have a comprehensive starter kit. I have some of the books, but these are nice.”

  “Those were my sponsor’s. She gave them to me.” Togi set her hand on the stack of books and rubbed them reverently, like they were a treasure to behold.

  “I’ll give them back as soon as I get my own.”

  “These are yours. Just stay sober long enough so you can give them to someone you work with when the time comes to pay it forward.”

  “I like that.” Maya stared at the books thoughtfully. “That’s a nice idea and a good goal.”

  “Do you have time this evening? If so, we’ll go to the eight o’clock here in Blackwood.” Togi pointed out the window toward the town hall. “I don’t have a car that will go much more than around here. Maybe one time we can go into Idaho Springs and hit a meeting. They have a good one tonight.”

  Kevin laughed and stared at Togi in surprise. “Have you ever seen Maya’s car?”

  “Can’t say I have. What do you drive? A Tesla? A team of white horses?”

  That made Maya laugh out loud, and once she started, she couldn’t stop.

  “She drives a Porsche.”

  “Figures.” Togi rolled her eyes. “Looks like you’re driving. I’ve never been in a Porsche.” Maya’s, shoulders rocked from her laughter. “I think someone needed a good laugh. We’ll talk.” She handed Maya a card with her contact information.

  “You have cards?” He asked in surprise.

  “You never know when someone will need you.” Togi lifted from the table. “Take it easy, honey.”

  He watched Togi walk out of the diner, then turned his attention back to Maya. “That was a total surprise.”

  “It was,” she replied. “You were right about her. She was mean at first. It bit me on the proverbial ass, but it turned out okay so far.”

  While he hated to extoll Togi’s virtues, he had to admit that she had come through. “I thought she went out of her way to reassure you. But you aren’t married to her as a sponsor. You can switch to someone else if it doesn’t work out.”

  “How do you know everything?” Maya asked warmly.

  “I just put things together.” He raised his eyebrows. “I get around.”

  The waitress brought their drinks.

  “I ordered fries and coleslaw.” Maya voice barely hit a whisper. “It was a while ago so maybe they forgot about it.”

  The waitress named Kay lifted her eyes in surprise. “We didn’t think that was a real order.”

  “Oh.”

  “No problem, though. I’ll get it for you.” The waitress pivoted on her loafers. “It won’t take but a second.”

  “No, you were right the first time,” Kevin said. “It’s not a real order. Bring us a club sandwich. We’ll split it and take two sides of fries.”

  When they had their privacy again, He pressed his reservations about Togi.

  “Tell me why you want her to be your sponsor.”

  “Like I said, she has lots of time, and she will delight in telling me the truth.”

  “You’re right on about that, but can you trust her?”

  Maya looked him dead in the eye. “I have to trust someone. If she screws up everyone will know. This is a small town. She knows turnabout is fair play. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”

  He had said what he wanted to say. He knew he had to back off and mind his own business.

  She touched his hand and changed the subject. Her fingers skated on top of his. It was the softest of touches, but all Kevin needed to make him hard. The damn woman could breeze past him and he was like a teen entering puberty.

  “Do you know she said the development company fired all the employees here? As soon as they remodel, Togi and the rest are gone.”

  He wanted to reach out and stroke her hair. He loved that she showed concern for people who wouldn’t give her a second thought.

  “Doesn’t sound self-centered to me,” he said with a slight smile.

  “I know, right?” She pulled her hand away and then waved it in the air in a what-the-hell gesture. “I’m telling you, I think I might have been misdiagnosed. I might not be an alcoholic,” she said, making that joke again.

  He wondered if she was trying to convince herself.

  “Hey.” His deep voice rumbled between them. “That’s only funny once.”

  “I’m kidding,” she insisted.

  “I know, but just know that slips might start out this way. Denial works in sneaky ways. It’s a good day now, but don’t forget how it started.”

  She shook her head. Her face transformed with a brief darkness clouding her beautiful eyes.

  “What happened, anyway?” Her fingers still sat on top on his hand, caressing the skin like a lover. “Bad dream?”

  “Yeah.” She moved her hand, picked up her napkin and frayed the edges. Tiny pieces of cotton-like paper littered the table. “I think so.”

  “Okay … I wondered if you knew where it came from. Sometimes these things seem to show up out of nowhere, but they come from somewhere. Just pay attention. I’ve seen wonderful people who thought they had their problems licked go back to being worse than they were when they started.”

  “I got it, Kevin.” Her voice tinged in irritation. “I have to stay on top of this thing. That’s what I’m trying to do. Who knows how to pick the right person? I can’t tell you why I want her, but I have a feeling about this. Togi and I might end up friends.”

  “That’s a positive thought.”

  The waitress set their food down and was nice enough to split their lunch on two plates. Maya’s phone dinged with an incoming text.

  “Clem will stay for a few days.” She set her phone down after reading it. “He’s on his way.”

  “Good.” Kevin nodded. “I don’t like you being out there all by yourself.”

  “You can always move back in and share the house with me.” She gave him a hopeful smile.

  It would be comfortable and easy, but it would be wrong. Living with her would take advantage of Maya’s vulnerability as a newly recovering person. Besides, it had been a long time since he’d been in a relationship. He missed everything about having someone. He enjoyed making her coffee in the morning. He loved sharing meals, but he had his own place and he couldn’t stay at hers because each time he was there made him want her more.

  He watched her
deconstruct her sandwich and eat the parts one by one.

  “What are you doing?”

  He pulled the piece of bread she was about to bite away from her mouth.

  “It’s great together but sometimes it’s nice to experience things alone. I’m savoring the small things in life, like how perfectly toasted this piece of bread is.”

  He cared for her more and more, constantly wondering if he wasn’t, in fact, falling in love with her.

  She set her toast aside and picked up her phone. “One more text and I’ll put the phone away,” she promised. “I’m letting Togi know I’ll take her to Idaho Springs.”

  Kevin’s chest was tight. Idaho Springs was connected to Blackwood by a winding mountain road. A road made more dangerous at night because of the dark and the wildlife that raced across the lanes.

  He knew his possessiveness was ridiculous. It was what had run Lucy out of his life. If he didn’t stop, he’d drive himself nuts. He wasn’t Maya’s husband or her father. He would lose her before he ever had her if he didn’t watch his overprotective nature. He’d give changing her mind one last shot and then leave it alone.

  “Is that such a good idea?” he asked. “That’s kind of a trigger place for you. It’s also a long time to be in a car with an iffy person.”

  “John, Clem, and you all thought it was a great idea for me to go to meetings. Now you’re talking me out of them?” She huffed. “I’m getting involved. I’m not made of glass, you know.”

  Kevin spoke plainly to her. “You were in a bad way, Maya. You were gambling and drinking, not to mention being involved with the wrong people. The guy that Caleb found you with at the casino the night they took you to rehab had a criminal record. I’m just saying be careful.”

  Kevin tugged at his uniform collar, which seemed to constrict around his neck. He was off the clock at the top of the hour but for now, he’d straddle the line between friend and cop.

  Blackwood had a police force of four, which meant they stayed busy. If they needed to—though they rarely did—they drew from surrounding areas, all part of Clear Creek County.

  He’d been looking forward to getting a great night’s sleep when he was off duty. Instead, he had a feeling he’d be going to Idaho Springs to keep Maya safe and sound.

  He wanted to have a conversation with Togi about his concern for Maya, but that would tip his hand. He’d just come to terms with his feelings for the stubborn woman. He wasn’t going to share them with everyone on the same day. If he didn’t have to worry about her recovery, he would have made her his already—or at least tried. He knew that now. To hell with his possessive nature. Maya Blackwood was his. He took care of what was his.

  Chapter Four

  Maya

  Maya drove back to her borrowed home with a full stomach and a need to nap. She’d had nearly no sleep the night before so the catnap she’d taken that morning after returning from the saloon only lasted her so long.

  Could she sleep feeling so enthusiastic? It was clear it was time to do something with her life. Time to find a purpose and working with a sponsor felt like she was on the right track. Though it was silly to impulsively ask to work at the diner, she needed a job. Not for money but for self-preservation.

  First, she had to deal with the loose ends of her prior life. The one she’d left behind. She needed to figure out what to do with the home she had in Aspen. When she became a widow, she drank hard and lived in the casinos in Idaho Springs so she wouldn’t have to deal with the heartbreak of her lost dreams. A fairytale life that had died with her beautiful husband Brad.

  She was grateful that her cousin John, who had just married and moved to Idaho Springs, had let her have his house. It allowed her to recover, but if she were honest, it also allowed her to put blinders on and not deal with what she had going on before she hit rock bottom.

  Now that she was clear-headed, she wanted to take charge of her life. Couldn’t wait for life to happen. Had to make it happen. High on her list besides her home in Aspen was to reach out to her family and their corporation to report that the development company they sold the town to wasn’t keeping up with their end of the bargain.

  She called her old sponsor and left a message to say thank you but told her she would move on. It was oddly exciting to commit to the 12-step program. Originally, she had gone to enough meetings to get her on track with sobriety. When she got enough clarity, it was a shock to reflect on how big a problem drinking had become. While in the middle of it, she didn’t know when alcohol had become such a big part of everything she did, or how it had wiped out her life, but it had.

  The other part of having something to do would keep her mind off of the fact that Kevin only liked her as a friend when it would be nice to have more. She had a fondness for him and made up reasons to be with him all the time. Hell, she put herself in his path constantly, and smiled and flirted, but he wasn’t making a move.

  He acted like he liked her. Clearly, he wasn’t spending time with anyone else. He didn’t seem to mind being with her but nothing happened. She replayed the way his muscles rippled when he’d risen from the booth at lunch to get menus. He was tall and handsome and big everywhere she could see. She was so drawn to him.

  There was something—an invisible forcefield that kept her from full-blown hitting on him—though she reserved the right to try in the future. He was definitely sending her a ‘friends only’ message.

  She regretted that she was just getting to know him despite being a member of the founding family of Blackwood. Private schools filled her youth, while he’d had a public education. They lived parallel and yet opposite lives. She didn’t know who to ask to find out what his story was. He acted single, and yet it appeared he wasn’t available. It made no sense to her.

  Curled up on the couch, she flipped through some of the pages of the books Togi had given her. She texted a confirmation of her plans with Togi and then waited for her brother to come barreling in. She had a strong feeling it would be any second. She practically did a countdown on the couch, and sure enough, she heard the car door close, the footsteps on the gravel, and the key in the door. Every Blackwood had a key to everyone else’s houses.

  “Hey,” she said casually.

  “Hey back,” he answered dejectedly.

  Clem walked into the living room. He was shaggy and thinner and obviously hadn’t slept in a while if the dark circles under his eyes were a clue. Divorce didn’t flatter him.

  “I think I need sleep so I’m going to head for a bed. I’ll talk to you later.” He kissed her on the head.

  She pointed to the western side of the house.

  “Take any room on that side. The fridge is full. I’m going to make you a sandwich and leave it on the top shelf. You need to eat when you wake up. I’m going to a meeting tonight, so I might not be here when you get up, but I’ll be home at a reasonable hour.”

  He stopped to study her. His star struck face brightened unexpectedly.

  “What?” She touched her face, certain she’d grown a wart on her nose.

  “You look great.” His voice cracked with emotion.

  He grabbed her and held her. Her face nuzzled against his chest.

  “Jeez,” she asked with a self-conscious smile. “Was I that bad?”

  “You scared us,” he said. “I guess I haven’t seen you in a while. Your skin is clear. Your hair is shiny. I thought you would go bald it was so thin. You’re still a string bean, but you’re no longer a toothpick.”

  “I don’t know if it’s the sobriety or this guy I like.” She hoped he’d ask her about Kevin.

  Just thinking of him filled her with warmth and made her stomach flutter. She raised her eyebrows mischievously.

  “You like someone?” he asked with a full-blown smile. “Why am I just hearing about this now?”

  She waved off the topic like it was nothing. She wanted to say it was nothing. Had she been crushing on Kevin because he was a nice guy and she was misreading things?

&n
bsp; “I probably shouldn’t say anything. He doesn’t know I like him.”

  “No, tell me.” Clem sat on the armrest. “I have to hear.”

  “My reason for bringing him up is so you can see it gets better. All I’m saying, Clem, is this stuff with Kaitlin will pass.” She closed her eyes and remembered her own painful past. “Brad was the love of my life. We were soul mates, and we had the whole picket fence plan. When he died, I never thought it was possible I could feel again. I’m feeling again. This thing with you and Kaitlin—”

  He shuttered his eyes.

  “I understand that. It’s going to take its own time, but with all due respect, Brad didn’t leave you because he wanted to. Kaitlin is leaving me on purpose. The hurt is a little different. Enough about me. Tell me about this guy so I have hope.”

  “It’s an infatuation, but it’s nice to have a thing that makes me feel happy. Something to look forward to.”

  “Is it a local guy?” he asked.

  “Yep. No one rich or famous, though he played pro ball. It’s the cop,” she said. “The cop who has been such a friend while I get back on my feet. His name is Kevin. John introduced me to him. He shared the house with me for a while when I first got out of rehab.”

  “You lived together?”

  “It wasn’t like that. I guess he could have taken advantage of the situation, and I would have welcomed the diversion. I mean, how easy would it have been to jump into something to avoid walking through the pain of the mess I’d made of my life.”

  “Maya, it’s understandable.”

  “You lost someone special and you didn’t become a drunk.” She regretted that she had fallen so low. Even though she had put her life back together, she was shamed by the choices she’d made.

  “I’ve done some nutty stuff in the name of walking through this divorce.” He laughed nervously. “I don’t want to get into that. Tell me how he feels about you.”

  “He feels respectful,” says Maya. “Thoughtful. Supportive. He wants to be friends. I don’t think he likes me that way.” She felt the pangs of crushing on Kevin as she spoke.